Thursday, May 15, 2008

Bad news

Well friends, I've been completely and thouroughly crushed. I lost everything I cared about. I don't think I am gonna be around anymore, so this may be my final post. I never knew just how low someone can feel until now.
I was completely willing and able to make someone else really and truly happy, and got spit on.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Never mind

Disregard the previous post. Hope is for suckers.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Hope (via Craigslist)

Lately I seem to be running out of things to believe in, but there is one thing I haven't lost yet. I believe that certain very ordinary things can be looked at from just a slightly different perspective, you can see amazing things. One of these ordinary things is the 'Missed Connections' section of Craigslist. You think I'm joking around, but keep reading.

I was looking for an apartment or something and stumbled on this section. At first glance, this just seems to be a bunch of people looking for the guy or girl they saw driving down the highway, or at the store, or at the gas station. And some of them are. Others seem to be personal messages directed at someone they know or knew. And some of them are. Still others seem to completely random neuron firings directed out into the universe via a goofy posting system called Craigslist. And some of them are.

I see all that, and it can be pretty funny, sad, or just plain weird. But I see something else, too. I see the underlying hope of the people out there. I see a hundred people a day going out of their way to compose a message of love, or hate, or loneliness, or longing, or of possibilities, then sending it out there in the hope that the one person it is intended for gets it and responds. Think about that. The ONE person. What are the odds of that? They are astronomical. Ludicrous even. But that doesn't stop the writer from trying. And I am sure there are just as many people logging on to see if they have a message from someone waiting for them.

Whether or not these people know it, they are expressing the hope that I have always believed is our most precious asset as human beings. The hope that there is hope. The hope that someone out there sees them and connects with them. The hope that what we want is out there, and if we just look long or hard enough we will find it. And I think that when someone loses this hope is when that person truly dies. Without this sense of hope, what is there to get out of bed in the morning for? Why bother?

So seeing this subconscious sign of this hope out there makes me think that maybe things are a little better out there than I thought. Maybe that brings a little of that hope back for me.

So although I know this started off sounding pretty dumb, maybe I have explained myself well enough for it make some sense to someone out there. Maybe it will even bring some hope to someone. Because after all, what am I doing but sending this out to the world in the hopes that it will find the right readers?

Monday, May 05, 2008

I need some advice

I have had some really bad shit go on in the last few days. I am considering packing up and moving to LA to finally do something about my dream of working in the movie business in some capacity. I have reasons for staying and reasons for going. I need to talk to anyone about it, I can't figure out what to do. I know no one really reads this, but I thought I'd ask. If anyone with an outside perspective could talk to me that would be great.