Sunday, October 11, 2009

Dear Sir...

A story I wrote. Hope you like it.
__________________________

Jan. 24, 2008


Dear Sir,

I am sure you will not be happy to receive this letter, but I felt it was important to send it. I would very much appreciate the opportunity to have you read what I would say. I would not expect a response, but to have you read it would be sufficient.

I would never expect you to understand my feelings in this matter. I would expect that your feelings would run very contrary to my own. That being said, I would request that you try to understand, at the very least to ease my own mind in the matter.

I would ask that you ask yourself this question. Do you love someone? Do you love them more than you love yourself? Have you felt a love so strong that you cannot deny it, cannot escape it, cannot turn away? I have felt that love, and I will tell you, it will make you feel so big, so strong, and at the same time so helpless. It can make you feel so vulnerable, so open. I can imagine that it was the way better writers than me have tried to describe it when they wrote about "love without end" and such things. I have experienced this. I truly hope you have as well. As well as making me feel the ways I mentioned above, it made me feel as if there was an entire world open to me. A world I never knew about before. A world that is better than this one, a world beyond all this pain, all this strife, all this toil. A world where things are easy. A world where things come naturally. A world where love can exist on it's own terms and not be held back by all the restraints of this shitty existence. A world where there is no reason to hold back from expressing the way we truly feel about someone who makes us feel whole. I apologize for the harsh language, but I am not sure how else to express myself.

I truly hope that when I say the things I have, you can and will understand, at least in some way. I would not expect or request that you agree or condone any of what I am saying or trying to express to you. I would only ask that you read this letter and try to in some small way understand my actions.

I helped your daughter to the world I described and pray with all that I am exists. I am convinced it does exist, and although you may not believe me, I am also convinced she and I will be there. I facilitated her journey there, and soon I will be done the same courtesy. I believe that I have done her a great service in this respect.

I truly hope you do not hate me for what I have done, although I am sure you can't and won't understand. I am truly sorry if I have hurt you. But your daughter and I will be in that world soon, and for that, I am truly thankful.

Thank you for your time, and again, I wish you all the best in this world.


Respectfully,

James Phillips

c/o
Canyon City Maximum Security Penitentiary

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